Honoring Tim Whistling Elk

Today seems a bit surreal. Finding out that long-time Northern Cheyenne community friend Tim Whistling Elk has passed away was news I was not expecting to hear.

I first met Tim in the summer of 2013 when I served as Site Director for YouthWorks’ Northern Cheyenne site. Every week Tim would come to the Head Start building with his sons and other community members to perform a drum circle for our participants. Tim’s drum group was always a favorite activity week after week. Tim was very proud to be Cheyenne, and that pride drove his passion for passing on cultural traditions to the next generation. He was a community advocate, involved in the coaching athletics at the local school and drove the bus for kids.

Tim taught me the importance of sitting with a person to simply abide with them. The summer I met Tim, he was in the midst of grieving the loss of his son. This was an extremely difficult time for him. Watching Tim process his grief and take brave steps towards healing was something that impacted my own life. Toward the beginning of the summer, Tim had invited my staff and I to pray with him in a way that was culturally significant to the Cheyenne people. I remember sitting with him in a dark lodge listening to his outward expression of an inward grief that only comes from a great and terrible loss.

In Matthew 5:4, Jesus taught, “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” My summer with Tim was an embodiment of this passage. During the three months I spent in Lame Deer, Montana witnessing Tim navigate his grief was like walking on holy ground. There was something completely humbling and beautiful to witness a soul being comforted by the body of Christ.

One week in particular we had set up a work project at Tim’s house. Not a lot of “work” happened that week, but each day as Tim got to know his crew of students, there was an emergence of something ineffable in Tim that was not there before. The “work” that took place that week was not measured in tangible products; rather, it was measured in hikes with youth from across the country, in stories shared, in laughs exchanged, in new friends made, in insights into another culture and in moments together.

Hearing of the loss of Tim, I am reminded of the importance of walking alongside people wherever they are at—and the importance of simply being present. My own culture pushes me at times to be agenda-driven and results-focused. Culture says, if there are no tangible outcomes from an interaction it is not worthwhile. My friend Tim taught me to think about life in a different way: to sit, to be present with people, to listen to stories, to validate emotions and to offer love to others—sometimes without using words.

If you’re a friend of YouthWorks, I invite you to join me in prayer for the community of Lame Deer and the Whistling Elk family, in honor of a man who will be remembered by many—and missed.

Rachel Binning joined YouthWorks’ full-time Site Development team in September 2016 after serving two summers as a Site Director in Northern Cheyenne and Chicago 2 and one as an Area Director at three sites in South Dakota. She is passionate about respectful service and building community relationships. Outside of work she enjoys hiking, camping and trying new restaurants with friends.