How Brushing My Teeth In Church Bathrooms has Changed My Perspective

One Sunday afternoon earlier this summer, I joined a handful of other folks from my church to evaluate our church’s “aesthetics.” We were handed clipboards and asked to look at our church building, particularly areas where visitors might be inclined to spend time (entrances, lobby, hallways, etc.), with a critical eye — thinking about what could be improved to make the place look more inviting, more homey, more aesthetically pleasing.

This was a difficult activity for me.

It’s not that I don’t see the value in creating beautiful, inviting spaces. It’s not that I don’t firmly believe that intentionally thinking about things like upkeep, signage, and de-cluttering are all aspects of hospitality. It’s not that I don’t want our church building to convey a sense of care, pride, ownership, or that I don’t believe that all of this can be part of how we fittingly worship God and invite others to join us in that.

It was difficult because I spent years of my life working for YouthWorks, looking at church buildings and asking a very different set of questions:

Is there a functioning kitchen (that includes plumbing)?

Are there some classrooms with decent floor space?

Is there at least one larger gathering space that could be used for a variety of purposes?

Are there at least three (usually-) working toilets for each gender?

If the answers to all four of these questions were yes, the follow-up question was,

Would the church leadership be willing to let four summer staff live here for the summer, and have 70 youth and adult mission trip participants come in as “houseguests” each week?

And if the answer to THAT question was yes, everything else (an industrial kitchen, gym space, a secret staff bathroom, access to an office, an ice maker, or the holy grail: on-site showers!) was gravy. If the basic infrastructure and a heart of welcome were there, we could make anything work — and make it work we did, even when there wasn’t AC (in Hotlanta, no less!), even when participants had to sleep in the Club Room (which also happened to be the dining room), even when the summer staff’s home-away-from-home was in a storage closet, even when girls slept at one church and boys slept at another down the road.

We didn’t worry about aesthetics (though, by golly, you’d better believe we worried about signage. We were all about signage). In fact, some of the most aesthetically pleasing churches were the most challenging for us to stay in. We worried about workability and functionality. And if it worked or could be made to work, it was enough. Enough to call it home. Enough for God to show up and do his work. Which he always, always, always did.

On the last night of YouthWorks programming in the summer of 2010 (my last on summer staff), I began writing a blog post that I never finished. Today, it realizes its purpose.

Tonight I perched on the edge of the stage in the small fellowship hall of our housing site in Chattanooga, eating a bowl of ice cream and watching adolescence unfold before my eyes as 60 junior-highers bounced off of each other, played Ninja, yelled “Cheese” as loudly as they could (it’s a game apparently), and whispered about who liked who. The noise level was almost unbearable, and the energy alone threatened to break windows.

A few days from now, this fellowship hall, home to so many breakfasts and dinners this summer, so many games of Jenga and cards, so many evenings of Club, will sit empty.

And I imagine it will be a little sad.

This weekend, church buildings across the country will breathe a sigh of relief. Sinks and toilets will get a much-needed vacation. Floors will be relieved of the burden of air mattresses and the trampling of teenage feet. Offices will function in peace once again. The walls will be free from colorful handwritten signs and the occasional stuck-on nametag. Kitchens won’t be cluttered with lunch coolers and multi-colored plastic dishes.

But I imagine they will all be a little sad.

The past nine weeks have been so full of life. These buildings have been filled and used to capacity. Some are a little worse for the wear – carpets stained, windows broken, things slightly damaged here or there. But each of these little things represents a life. A story. A teenager who came and was somehow touched in the midst of being a teenager. Churches opened their doors, come what may. These buildings held us up this summer; they gave us a place to call home, to lay our heads, to fill our bellies, to cry our tears, to praise our Maker. And as these buildings faithfully provided, they came alive – bursting with joy and beauty and the untold abundance of life that happens during a YouthWorks week.

And I imagine that when these rooms and hallways are empty again, they will be a little sad. The silence will be overwhelming; the nights will be lonely. But there will be echoes, memories, stories told of what happened in these places.

When you spend your summer living in a church, you cannot help but recognize that a church building is not an end unto itself — it is just a theater in which a story unfolds. And when I look back at the countless churches that served as temporary homes for this nomadic YouthWorks staff member during my nine summers on staff, I could still likely describe each building like the back of my hand. But I couldn’t list all the quirks, all the dysfunctional things, all the stains or broken places (except for the one site that didn’t actually have a functioning kitchen sink. I could tell you all about that.). I could, however, tell you about the people from those churches who welcomed us and truly made their church building feel like home. And I could tell you stories on end about what happened within those buildings.

I’ve often thought that my church would make a pretty good YouthWorks site (not only because of the oh-so-spacious kitchen), so turning such a critical eye to that building felt unnatural to me. In light of what my days with YouthWorks taught me, there are two things I want to remember as I consider the aesthetic needs of our building:

First, God has worked in so many ways within the walls of that building – the Gospel has been proclaimed, lives have been impacted, friendships have started and grown, lessons have been learned about everything from art to exegesis to Sardines-playing skills, couples have been wed, babies and new believers have been baptized – all in spite of water stains and an inconsistent color scheme and out-of-date bulletin boards. Indeed, the fact that we own this building and call it home is, in itself, a huge gift from the Lord. He has been faithful, and that will continue.

Second, while appearance and aesthetics are important, what will really make the difference in welcoming people into our church is the attitude of our people. Are we eager to welcome newcomers and get to know them? Are we available to help them find their way and get connected? Are we willing to offer ourselves to help them feel at home, not only in our building but in our church body?

Each Sunday afternoon this summer, church buildings opened their doors to road-weary teenagers, eager to get their YouthWorks week started. Staff offered nametags and cold water, showed them where to set up their beds, and invited them into games of Uno or 4-Square. Introductions were made, laughter began, and new friendships were sparked before dinner was even on the table. I can only hope that visitors to our church would feel so invited to make themselves at home and jump into community when they walk through the doors of our church building next Sunday morning.

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Jenilyn Swett spent five years and a total of nine summers serving with YouthWorks in various capacities. God used YouthWorks to shape and influence her in countless ways — she credits her time on staff with introducing her to Chick-Fil-A, all things Southern, the beauty of places like New Orleans and Savannah, and many of her dearest friends. Beyond that, she developed a deep love for the Church. After graduating from seminary,she now serves as the Director of Women’s Ministry at a church in St. Louis, Missouri (where she spent her second YW summer in 2003) and follows #yw2014 incessantly!